Sealed inside a metal tube, hurling 500 mph through the sky, blind to what lies ahead of you, behind and overtop…
Is there any more voluntarily helpless position than that of an airline passenger?
Whether we're stretched out in first class or folded like origami figurines into a cramped coach seat, we’re all on equal footing once the captain pushes back for takeoff.
We buckle in, snack on some peanuts and sign over our lives to those uniformed defenders of our safety, locked and sealed out of sight in the confines of the cockpit.
The pilots -- save for an incoming 'hello,' a mid-flight update and a departing 'Thank you' or 'Goodbye' -- remain as anonymous as the guy sitting next to you in seat 12B. Just another travel enigma.
We recently caught up with a captain for a major US carrier who has been a pilot for more than 15 years, flying commercially for eight years.
He was relaxing poolside on a hotel rooftop during an overnight stop between east coast hops.
Under the condition of anonymity, he agreed to dish on the industry and turbulent travel times in general.
Here's what Captain "No Name" had to say:
On Airport Security:They (security officers) give us some leeway if we’re in uniform. We don’t have to put our gels in those little plastic baggies -- they’re not supposed to take them from us if we’re in uniform. And if I’m just traveling somewhere and don’t have my uniform on and just have my pilot ID, nine times out of ten they’ll let me through security with all my stuff. Then there’ll be one TSA guard who will take away my toothpaste -- it's the inconsistency that drives me crazy, and certain airports are stricter than others. I've been going through security lines long enough now that I don’t have the patience for it. I wear exactly the same thing every day -- the same belt, same shoes, same tie, everything -- and nine times out of ten I won’t buzz. But
Kansas City, for instance, I can take everything out of my pockets, take off my belt and I’ll still buzz when I walk through security.
On Good Airports:We end up with a lot of breaks in airports for two hours or more at a time, so I’m looking for an airport with stuff to do.
Logan in
Boston is a good one. It has good food, and it’s a brand new terminal there.
Reagan National Airport in
Washington, DC used to be good, but it's under construction now, so they don’t have as much food. Overall,
Orlando is a good airport. It looks nice. It's a busy place, but they have plenty of security to get people through.
On Bad Airports:I despise
Kennedy (in
New York). The international terminal, terminal four, is new and nice. But terminals two and three should be condemned. I was just talking to a flight attendant the other day, and she said there’s asbestos in the terminals, and sooner or later they’re going to condemn them. There are literally mice and pigeons living in the terminals. I've been in our pilot lounge on more than one occasion and a mouse will run across the floor. People who are up there all the time warn you not to leave any food in your flight bags -- they have problems with the mice chewing right through the leather to get to the little bags of peanuts. And with the pigeons, it's not like they’re a rare sight either - spend an hour at Kennedy, and you’ll likely see one or two pigeons fly across the terminal. It's a horrible airport.
